In Praise of Consequential Bosses
Lately, I’ve been thinking about all the good bosses I’ve had in my career. That’s not a common sentiment these days but maybe I’m just lucky. Three of those bosses passed away in the past 18 months, but not before they changed the arc of my life and the fortunes of my family forever. They were hugely consequential figures to me, so here’s a short reflection of thanks to each of them.
I Found My Heart, In San Francisco
Gene Berman almost didn’t hire me when I was an aspiring, 24-year-old ad guy. He liked me but thought I might be a barroom brawler. My hands were cut and bruised when I interviewed and he finally asked, “What’s up with that?” Turns out, I was a lover, not a fighter. I’d moved to San Francisco without a job, following the woman I’d ultimately marry. I was working construction (unskillfully) until I could land an ad agency gig and was all banged up. Gene gave me a chance to have office hands again, and he gave my courtship a shot. He modeled tenacity and taught me how to fight relentlessly when it counted, in work and life. For 35 years, long after we stopped working together, Gene was my dear friend and mentor, a steadying force who always helped me find equilibrium when life knocked me around.
C’mon In
Al Mager was whip smart, but he led with endearing, aw-shucks grace, in contrast to my factory setting of tiresome vigilance. We’d talk baseball before work, usually early in the morning in his office, where the lights were always set at two-drink minimum. Cigarette smoke would waft up (yeah, I’m that old) and Al would sip his Coke as I poked my nose in. He’d needle me, “Tommy, what happened to the Cubs last night?” then let me vent on the client crisis du jour. I’d leave 10 minutes later, all peppy and convinced that I’d solved the client problem myself. Al showed me the importance of availability and the power of understated, other-directed wisdom in a self-promotional world. For those things and many others, he was respected and adored. He let everybody in, and they never left.
Faith Before I Earned It
Paul Baffico hired me for a job that was bigger than me, then had my back while I grew up in real time. I did many good things in those five years but had to be hard to love. I was often brash and defensive, butting heads regularly in my zeal to be a big company change agent (cringe/barf). Looking back, Paul knew something about carrying the weight of responsibility at a young age. He’d led troops in combat at 23, in a place where young people did selfless, extraordinary things all the time. I’m still humbled that he placed such faith in me. And I’m forever grateful that he stood by me when I flailed, as did many other execs on that team. He helped me become a better leader than I had any business being and I was deeply saddened by his recent passing.
Gene, Al and Paul were very different guys. They weren’t perfect, but they were consequential because they bet on me before I was a sure thing. They gave me their time and wisdom, patiently and without reservation. They changed how I saw myself in the world and made me aim higher. They packed a lifetime of inspiration into our few years together and made the run that I’ve had possible.
In Search of Consequential Leaders
I hope you all find Genes, Als and Pauls in your careers, but I wonder if that’s harder to do now. Our workplaces are fraught and fractious, and we’re physically and emotionally isolated, guessing and stressing while artificial ambivalence creeps in. Our hope for meaningful connection can be a single, wholly inadequate one-on-one per week, often on a screen. It’s as if our people are breathing through a reed, getting the bare minimum to sustain life while they hide below the waterline and wait for endless storms to pass.
It can all feel more transactional than consequential.
Becoming Consequential: The Unsafe Path To Meaning
Becoming consequential to someone is messy business. It means getting close, and when we’re close, we don’t always like what we see. It means risking, betting on flawed people, extending yourself before you’re sure it’s wise, not worrying how it’ll cost you. It’s an unsafe choice in today’s bubble wrapped yet somehow less safe world.
But maybe what’s old can become new again. Maybe our search for purpose and meaning at work can start with curiosity about becoming consequential to someone else. Maybe some are ready to reduce the distance and bet courageously on someone. As they say, ya gotta give some to get some, and I’m eternally grateful for what Gene, Al and Paul gave me.
It turned out to be everything.